3-0

Wow... I'm 30. How'd that happen?

The past few days I've been distracted with getting older. This is really getting in the way of concentrating on various day to day things in my life. For whatever reason, I just can't fathom how I got here. 30, 3-0, thirty, 3 tens, 15 times 2... whatever, it's 30. I'm 30.

When I was 15, thirty was middle-aged and forty was OLD. I was thinking about that yesterday when I left work. There are some things that I have naturally let go of being a full-time, working, married mother of two small boys. I don't have the time for myself like I used to. Not that I was ever very prissy to begin with. Brett describes me as a 'jeans & hoodie girl', which is true, but sometimes I do like to get dolled up and pretend I'm a high maintenance woman. So, in a fit of terror that my 15-year-old self now considers me "middle-aged" I went off the deep end and dyed my hair last night. I used to do this all the time. From 16 years old until Ryan was born, my natural hair color was never known. Up until last night, I had dishwater brown hair. Last night I went 'dark mahogany brown'. Tonight I'll add some auburn streaks maybe. Whoa chick... slow down! You're living on the edge! Middle-aged my ass... take THAT hair!

Next on the list?

* New work out plan... I certainly can't be 'Dirty 30' with excess flab hanging from my stomach and rear end. I'm going an all-girls vaca this weekend to Charleston with the ladies of my family. Monday will be the start of my re-introduction of P90x, which I started about 2 months ago, but abruptly quit for no real reason other than laziness.

* Diet... not that I need to lose weight, I just need to tone up, but my eating habits need to change. I WILL NOT fall victim to the old-age metabolism monster. I've heard about it all my life. One day my metabolism will just disappear and it will be gone forever. I'm not playing that game. Changing my diet will go hand-in-hand with my new work out plan. While I'm at it, maybe I'll sign up for a triathlon. Take that 30!

* Laugh lines... I have parenthesis on my face and I don't like it. They have to go. Since I'm middle-aged, I'll surrender to the middle-aged creams and potions that promise to keep a youthful face. It will be like a science experiment! Ahhh... high school all over again!

* Underwear over haul... My underwear must suggest that I'm 'dirty 30' not 'new mommy'. Dirty in the turn-my-husband-on sense, not the I-haven't-bathed-in-2-days sense. My children are not infants, we're passed the stage of forgetting to take a shower because I'm tending to the baby.

* Boobs... Yeah, I'm getting them. I've gone long enough without them. I am a woman. My boys will probably be boob men since each of them stole mine from me. I am taking control back and buying me a set. Nothing over the top, but I have a consultation next week... we'll see what the doc says.

Pardon me, I'm going to get mushy for a minute... Looking back, I think about ALL the things I did in my twenties; amazing events, once in a lifetime experiences, trying times, devastating events, pure happiness, shock, joy, all of it. I've experienced and accomplished a tremendous amount of things and crossed many items off my life's to-do list. They've all had some way of molding me and changing me for the good and the bad. In retrospect, there are only a few things I might would change, but for the most part, I'm proud of my twenties. My teens? Well, I'm proud of those too. Proud that I was a level headed kid for the most part, only making "small" mistakes. Small in the sense that none of them were massively life-changing choices. However, some may have been borderline. I was never arrested, never fell to recreational drugs, never got pregnant, and made decent grades in school. I was going to share some of my teenage antics, but my children may read this one day, and I certainly don't want them to get any ideas. I'll keep my mouth shut.

So there... I'm trying very hard to embrace this 30 thing. I may not be the best at aging gracefully, but I'm only on day 1. Hopefully I have many more days to work on it. Practice makes perfect.

Puzzle Pieces

I've learned over the years that people come into one's life for many reasons and for different amounts of time. Some come in, stay a while, leave and come back. Others are gone forever. Some live in your heart and some you just wish would run far away. Whether you are spiritual or not, you can't deny there are lessons to be learned from each of these people. Some leave lasting impressions that you will never forget or spend the rest of your life trying to live up to being even half of what they were.

These people, the bad ones and the good ones, make me who I am. It's amazing to me that my life could have gone in hundreds of directions all depending on who crossed my path at various times. I would have never known that choosing to say hello to that girl I passed in the hallway would led to a deeper friendship than I could ever imagine. Choosing that one extracurricular activity over the others led to a lifetime of priceless friendships all over the country and a lifetime of heartache all at the same time. Choosing to change my course of study led to me meeting the man of my dreams. Choosing to stand up and not back down led me down a path to a career that I love.  Decisions are like puzzle pieces that somehow fit together when it's all said and done. Decisions come with people. People come with love. I'd hate to envision my life without the people and love that make it how wonderful it is.

The last few months I've struggled a bit with what kind of wife, mom, friend, daughter I've become. In many ways, I want to do better. However, I also believe I deserve to give myself credit, which is what I struggle with. Over the past few weeks, various people have said things to me that I needed to hear. They may not have realized it, but they have made a difference.

I am a lucky woman and I am blessed by those who have walked in and out of my life.


"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." ~ Albert Schweitzer
 

The Dating Game

Six years, 2 babies and 2 dogs later, Brett and I are sort of acting like an old married couple rather than vibrant, young, party animal, parents. Ok, so we've never really been party animals, but we definitely had more "us" time pre-kids. Obviously. We do LOTS of stuff as a family. We're always on the go. Local festivals, museums, ball games, the beach, the park, out for ice cream, out for dinner, etc... all this stuff we do as a family, which is wonderful, but the only alone time Brett and I get is when we're both snoring.

So, we're re-introducing dating to our relationship! Inspired by our recent trip to the NY Giants game in Charlotte, we've decided we need more husband/wife excitement. We had such a good time at the game and there's absolutely no reason why we can't keep that fun going!

The goal? One real date each month, minimum. Not just your typical dinner and a movie, but new and exciting things that one or both of us have never done, or very rarely do. I'm so excited about our October date!!!

Indoor Climbing and dinner at Subway! 

You may be saying, "Subway? Really?" This date isn't centered around food. It's all about the activity and spending time together. So since it's an active date, we'll go for something on the lighter side to eat. 

Cheers to Mommy & Daddy!

Superman

My Dear Sweet Boys,

Ryan, today you're 4 and Liam, you're 2. You will not understand until later in your life, (Light years away for you, but a quick blink for me.) but this is important. It could save your life.

You are not invincible. I'll say it again. YOU. ARE. NOT. INVINCIBLE.

Remember those words. One day, you're going to feel larger than life; like even a million grown men can't knock you off the pedestal you're standing on. You're Superman. It's ok. I felt like that too.

Do yourself a favor and don't listen to your ego or your friends. Listen to me. You are not indestructible. Your life is precious. Fragile. Don't take it for granted.

Yes, you are special. No one can do YOU like you do. You are strong, capable, smart, young men. You might be the popular one in school, you might be the bookworm, or the jock. Regardless of what mold you fit in to, do not allow a momentary lapse in judgement to change your life (or your family's life) forever.

Within the past two days, I have learned of two deaths that did not have to happen. Tragic deaths of a 30-year-old man, and a 16-year-old boy in two separate car accidents caused by excessive speed. Speed. Their families are devastated. Over the past 2 days, Ryan, I have quizzed you one the very first thing you do when you get in a vehicle and your answer is always consistent, "Put on your seat belt." Don't forget it. One day, God willing, you will both drive. I want you to enjoy and appreciate your privilege to drive. (Consider yourself lucky if your overly-paranoid mother allows you to acquire this privilege at 16.) The vehicle that you drive is not a toy. It is a weapon. A lethal weapon. Respect it and respect other drivers around you.

Too many lives are taken too soon due to preventable car accidents. The statistics are staggering. Don't be a statistic.

It's ok for you to feel like you're standing on top of the world. It feels good and is great for the soul. But don't get cocky. God is in control. Not you.

Canon in D

My evening yesterday was rather “spirited” to put it lightly. Now-a-days, arriving home is a race between the boys and I. We have made it into a game to see how far into dinner preparation I can get before Ryan asks for a piece of candy, to take a walk or to build a fort in the living room and before Liam starts his irrational, almost-2-year-old fits of pure rage.

We like to dance in the kitchen. This is our latest nightly routine since it’s been either scorching outside or pouring rain. So I turn the music on; we usually choose between Jack Johnson, Glee, or Cee Lo Green stations on Pandora as they offer a good mix for us. Last night we chose Jack Johnson. The noodles were cooking, the spaghetti sauce was simmering and the boys and I were fully involved in Dipp Dance Fest 2012 in the kitchen. All was well until Liam noticed the candy bin on the top of the fridge. **Note to self – Move it! The race was over. Mommy lost, Liam won some M&Ms and Ryan came in second by asking for a bowl of Doritos immediately after Liam asked for demanded candy.

Thankfully, my children are half Italian and pasta makes everything better. Well, usually. While Liam was scaling my left leg and screaming, I successfully loaded up each of their plates, poured drinks and we finally made it to the table and sat down… all the while, Pandora is still playing in the background.

Technically, I’m the only one who actually sits to eat. Ryan makes eating an Olympic sport. The child can’t sit still and eat for anything, and Liam… well, he’s almost 2. So while I sit, I have one child throwing noodles up in the air and catching them in his hair, ears, and occasionally his mouth and another who appears to be leading an aerobics class from his chair. The dogs are in their ready positions to catch whatever becomes available to them.

All of a sudden I notice that Canon in D is playing on Pandora; On my Jack Johnson station. Canon in D isn’t exactly “indie rock” or “adult alternative”, but whatever, I go with it as it happens to be one of my favorites. It took me back to my wedding day. I had our wedding party walk in to the song, played beautifully by our very talented organist. I thought about what I had wished for on our wedding day… a beautiful life with my wonderful husband and how ever many little ones we would have. I thought about where we started, where we’ve been and how our marriage has evolved and what it is now. I thought about how I’ve always wanted children and how blessed we are to have 2 healthy, vibrant and “spirited” little boys who are more perfect than I ever imagined. After I was finished daydreaming and reminiscing I came back to earth and to my dinner table. Ryan was begging to get up and Liam had turned his face, hands, belly and half of the table red. He had noodles in his ear, hair and nose. He looks at me and says, “ALL DONE!” and throws his plate across the table.

Pandora reminded me that I have exactly what I want and I am grateful for that. Bring it on boys… Mommy’s got this!

Circ de Dipp

Tonight the circus spent a little time out on the town. We went to Outback for dinner and then visited Gander Mountain. The occasion was brought to us by an Outback gift certificate that has been in my wallet for a few months now and a Gander Mountain gift card that Brett received by trading an old golf club he no longer wanted on Craigslist.
Now, when Circ de Dipp goes out to dinner, it is always sure fire entertainment... for everyone else but Mommy and Daddy Dipp! Upon opening the front doors of the restaurant, Ryan announces to the hostess with such excitement, "Tonight, we're eating at a restaurant!" As if this was his first time ever, even though it's only been about 2 weeks since we've eaten out. The boys and I sit down at our booth and wait for the hostess to bring us a booster seat for Liam, and wait for Brett to meet us since he drove straight from work. I told the hostess that Brett would be arriving behind us and that he would be wearing a Lafayette Ford shirt. Before she could register my statement, Ryan blurted out, "He's bald!" Poor Brett. :) However, there was no need for any of us to make the hostess aware of Brett's impending arrival because as soon as Brett walks in the door, Liam spots him and screams, "DADDY!!!!!!!!" at the top of his lungs. At least the others in the restaurant new who he was (and that he was there)!
So there we sit, table scattered with crayons, kids menus, and action figures to keep our little loves busy long enough to give our drink orders. Then we get the inevitable announcement that we get each and every time we sit down to eat, whether at home or out..."I have to go to the bathroom." I think Ryan is on a mission to explore every public rest room we come across. He certainly doesn't get this from me, as I have a phobia of any public rest room regardless of how clean it is.
We are eventually able to place our order and after a longer than normal wait, our food came. Of course by this time, the boys had already consumed two loaves of Outback bread, including the mini bowl of butter. My dear sweet Liam, butter is to be used sparingly. It is not considered a dip for your bread, but rather a "taste enhancer". We will continue to focus on this issue.
In lieu of eating their entrees, Ryan spent most of his time testing how long he could stay under the table without us noticing and Liam spent most of his time attempting to see how far he could throw his broccoli. I had a quick vision of Liam's half-chewed broccoli floret landing in the fancy hair do of the lady sitting in the booth next to us. The outcome of my mini daydream was not pleasant. I don't even remember savoring my meal. As a matter of fact, Brett suggested I may have early onset Alzheimers because I brought up the same subject three different times during dinner. Yay!! Family outings!!! In an effort to look at the glass half full, the boys will be the only kids at school tomorrow with Outback lunches. I can't wait until next time. Anyone have a suggestion for a manners tutor? :)

To my children, Love!

5 months later... I'm still here! Just busy! I do want to take some time to record my thoughts and feelings on yesterday's passing of Amendment One, which makes any union other than that of a man and a woman illegal in the state of North Carolina. Yes, it's politics and religion, so if you don't want to read or will be offended, stop now.
Even though I speak openly to my children about love and acceptance of those who are different than our family of four, my hope is that one day they will read this blog. I want Ryan, Liam, and any other children we may have to remember exactly what our family values are and what we stand for. If they think differently from me and their father, fine, but they will know what we stand for during this turbulent time in US and NC history. My hope is when they grow up, they will look back on today, just as I look back at the issue of racism during the civil rights movement, and ask me, "Mama, did that really happen? Because it's not like that now!"
I stand for freedom and equality. I try my best to live by the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. Or, if I were to quote the Bible, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." My parents and my grandparents taught me this through their words, actions and leadership. I am grateful for that. They also taught me to think freely and be confident in my words and actions. However, my mother would tell you that I have an issue with word vomit. My father is famous for giving me "the look" when I speak my mind. Other members of my family and some friends have been known to censor my outspokenness to prevent arguments and uneasiness within the family.
Yesterday I was told that I need to "suck it up and deal with the political crap like we all have to deal with it...life goes on."
Yes, life does go on, you are correct. However, sucking it up and dealing with it is not the answer. Think about history. If America sucked up terrorism, would Osama bin Laden be ruling our country? If America sucked up racism and dealt with it, where would we as a nation be today? If founders of this country sucked up the religious crap they were dealing with in "the old world", would America even be here?
There are some people that were born and bred to suck it up and deal with it. I was not. I will continue to voice my opinion until I'm blue. If we continue to do what we have always done, we will never move forward as a nation; there will always be hate. This nation is not made of 100% Christian, heterosexuals that marry within their race, live a wealthy lifestyle and breed perfect, athletic, scholarship earning children. We are diverse. We will continue to become more diverse. A union or marriage between a couple that is unlike my marriage poses zero threat to the sanctity of my relationship with my husband.
One day, I'm willing to bet, we'll have a gay president, or perhaps a Jewish president, or maybe Hindu, Asian, Greek Orthodox or Jehovah's Witness. [You may replace "president" with any other political position if you'd like]. What if these 'non-traditional' and/or non-Christian leaders were to make it illegal for you to praise Christ in public, cheat on your spouse, or anything else you do on a regular basis? They are bringing their religious views into the equation while running the United States of America. This is dangerous.
It saddens me that so many people who have no issues preaching Christianity, do not lead by example. The Bible tells us to love God, love others and love ourselves. The Bible also tells us not to judge. I am far from perfect and I have never claimed to be, but I do try to live a moral life. I love love and everyone else should love love too. Judging others is not the Christian thing to do. Telling others the way they should live their lives is not your right.
So, to my children... Love. Treat others who are different than you with respect. "Normal" is relative, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Stand for what you believe in and don't back down. If you do this, you will go far. Mama will always love you!