Friday the 13th

Today is one of those days that I stay on my toes, over analyze everything and refuse to do even the simplest of things in fear that something will go wrong. Today is Friday the 13th. Yes, I'm one of those people. One of those people who believe in silly superstitions. I won't walk under a ladder, or split a pole. I won't cross the path of a black cat without crossing him out first and if I witness salt being spilt, well, the person behind my left shoulder is getting a salt bath. My OCD tendencies ventured over to my child as well. Ryan wasn't allowed to have his hair cut prior to being 1 year old even though he put Billy Ray Cyrus's mullet to shame. Oh and how could I forget our wedding? I made my matron of honor walk down the aisle during rehearsal because it's bad luck if Brett saw me do it before the real moment and who knows what I would have done or thought if he had seen me on the day of our wedding prior to the ceremony. It's quite possible that I would have attempted to call off the whole thing... or at least thought about all the bad luck we'd have.

I'm not sure where my insaneliness (yes, I just made a new word. You like it?) came from. It certainly did not come from my parents. I think it started when I was young. Every once in a while I'll have a birthday fall on Friday the 13th. I think I was in second grade when I had a bowling party for my birthday. It was on Friday the 13th and the first Friday the 13th birthday that I remember. I bowled like crap, got frustrated and then one of my friends and I got in a fight at my party. Maybe that's when it all started. However, I'm getting better. 3 or more years ago I would have called in sick to work or skipped my classes for the day, lock myself in my house or apartment and wait the day out. The one time I did ignore my anxieties, Dakoda decided that Friday, June 13th of 2007 (I was 5 months pg with Ryan) was a good day to chase a rabbit into Duke Forest. She was gone for over 5 hours. I thought she was gone for good and my mother thought I was going to go into premature labor. With a job, husband and a child, it is no longer possible to lock myself in my house, so now I just suffer 3-4 times a year for an entire day just doing what is necessary and waiting for something to happen. I know. It's sad.

My parents are taking Ryan to the beach this weekend. DRIVING 2.5 hours with my child TODAY... Friday the 13th. How am I feeling right now? I was packing his things last night and literally shaking off negative thoughts and anxieties about him traveling today. I told Brett that maybe we'll just keep him home with us... of course he gave me "the look." He has asked me before if I'm going to keep our children in a bubble all their lives. Well, that's one idea. I'm meeting my parents at the intersection of I-95 and I-40 so we can trade off Ryan. My ride home alone with my stomach in my throat will be miserable.

This morning Brett dropped me off at work (we're down to one car again because his alternator went out yesterday). I asked him to humor me and text me after he dropped Ryan at school and got to work himself. All he said was ok. Either he's just accepted it or he just doesn't fight it anymore.

I think my mother thought I'd "grow out" of this. If she's right I've got some more growing to do.

I'm Baaaack!

Wow, it's been almost a month of no blogging! It certainly wasn't intentional. We've been so busy that I haven't had a chance to stop and write about what we've been up to!


So, first things first. I hit the 36 week mark on Tuesday. I am no longer allowed to travel, and to be perfectly honest is just fine with me since we still have a fair amount of stuff to do before Liam decides to arrive. But, after yesterday's doctor appointment, it is clear that it won't be any time soon. Everything is closed up tight. No dilation at all! Actually, I'm a bit surprised by this. I've been having a fair amount of braxton hicks contractions and a whole lot of pressure down yonder so for her to say nothing has changed was a bit of a shock. But no worries, he has 2 more weeks before I will REALLY be pushing for him to come out. No pun intended there.


I remember with Ryan (Bless him, he's still just as stubborn) I was so desperate for him to get out. I bounced on my exercise ball, I walked 2 miles every day after work, I drank wild raspberry leaf tea twice daily from 38 weeks on to "help ripen my cervix", I ate spicy foods, we had sex, I walked some more... I mean I did it ALL (with the exception of drinking caster oil or eating refried beans... GAG!). Still, no baby. At 41 weeks on the dot the pitocin started rolling and almost 12 hours later he was born. I have a hot feeling that Liam has the same stubbornness as his brother and will not be joining us unless we force him to. We shall see....



On another note, I've maintained my weight for the 7th week in a row! I was so shocked. This past weekend we went to Maryland for the annual Annapolis Rotary Crab Feast and also for a surprise shower for my bff, Jody. (YAY! I can talk about it now!) I stuffed my face with crabs, hot dogs, corn, etc... plus cake at the shower. Oh and let's not even mention all the eating out we did for breakfast...by the way, the absolute BEST place for a cheeseburger or breakfast in the Annapolis area in Chick & Ruths in downtown. Ok, so anyway, I'm still at 157lbs, which is the weight I was when Ryan was born. Which is 32lbs up from what I was at the start of this. Once again, we shall see!



Last night I hung some art pieces on Liam's bedroom wall. Everything is coming together. I still need curtains for his room and I'd like to get a new glider cushion. The one I have is blue and certainly doesn't match the green and brown in his room. It's so exciting to see it almost done. I brought the swing down from upstairs last night too and opened a pack of diapers and put them away in his bins on his changing table. Oh, and I finally found an outfit for him to come home in. It's going to be hot when we bring him home. Early to mid-September is still usually in the 80s or 90s. So I found a really cute onsie, socks and a light hat for him to wear and I just so happened to have a receiving blanket from Ryan (I don't think he even used it) to match it. So, what do you think?

I didn't get anything frilly for Ryan to come home in so I didn't want to go over the top with Liam. Ryan wore a cute doggy outfit by Carters that Dakoda gave him. :) It says "I love my pup" on it.

Once the nursery is finished, I'll post pics of it too. You can see a little bit of the theme in the picture above, but I want to wait until everything is done before showing it. That's the goal for this weekend, as well as paint Ryan's room and shampoo the carpet in the living room. Ryan is going to the beach with my parents, so I hope we can get it all done!

Random Ramblings

As mentioned in my previous post, this past weekend, 3 families joined up at Salter Path, NC and we had an amazing time! Our group consisted of Brett, Ryan & myself, my parents, my brother and his girlfriend, my mother-in-law and father-in-law, my best friend Jody and her husband Jeff, and her parents, Linda & Tony. We swam, we tanned, we ate, we partied, we reminisced, we played bocce ball & cornhole, we stayed up until after midnight, we got burnt, we built sandcastles...we had an awesome time! I can't believe it is over and I'm so sad that I have to wait an entire year to do it again! The extended weekend vacation was the first of many, I hope. Perhaps next year we can make it a whole week!

Just to enlighten you and remind those who were there, here are a few lessons we all learned during the course of our trip...

Lesson #1 - Don't play fire hose with your penis. (very important to a 2-year-old)

Lesson #2 - You can, in fact, fit 13 people into a 32' travel trailer.

Lesson #3 - If you're potentially being attacked by a wild animal, don't count on your mother to save you. She'll just run the other way, leaving you alone to fend for yourself.

On another note, yesterday I hit the 33 week mark and the under-50-day mark. There is so much still left to do before Liam arrives. I'm getting antsy, so I made a list. What I thought was going to be just a few things turned into a list of 26 things that need to be done or purchased prior to his arrival. As nice as it would be for him to come a bit early (maybe 1-2 weeks) I'm starting to think that him coming during the week of his due date might be in our favor, just so we can get everything done. Between working, keeping up with Ryan, and traveling, there isn't a whole lot of time between now and then! I reckon I better hop to it! I had my 32 week doc's appointment last week. Unfortunately I gained 6lbs in 4 weeks. NOT COOL! However, I do remember that towards the end of my pregnancy with Ryan and gained 7 lbs in 3 or 4 weeks. So I figure maybe it is just my normal pattern. Or at least that's what I'm leading myself to believe. I have been having some major pressure in my pelvic area from Liam's head... thank you, gravity! I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but last week it was almost unbearable. Doctor wanted to check, just to be sure and I wasn't going to argue with her since I was headed to the beach within the next hour. Thankfully, all is well and I'm not dilated at all. She "diagnosed" me with a weak pelvic floor... or as she described it, an "old hammock." Wonderful... I cannot explain to you the feeling I had when I was told my female innerds can now be compared to an old hammock. Bear with me for a minute as I explain. A NEW hammock is tight and stiff as is a unused uterus and pelvis (bones & muscles). An OLD hammock is loose from being sat on, stretched out and rained on, and from what I gather, quite comparable to my lower female region. How glorious is that? Yes, I know. I couldn't contain my excitement either.

Now on to my other child. This morning Ryan and I went to have his ears checked. We do this every 4 months because of his tubes we had put in back in November. I'm quite surprised they are still there. The life span of ear tubes is about 6 months and we're going on 8 months. Life before tubes consisted of an ear infection every 3 weeks through the fall and winter months. It was excruciating for me and even more so for Ryan. Since his surgery in November, he has had 1... yes, let's count them again... ONE ear infection. I could kiss the feet of Dr. Bellian, his otolaryngologist.

Anyway, while we were in the waiting room, Ryan was playing in the kids area with another little boy who was at least a year older than him. Obviously this is quite normal for 2 small children to play together, but what stood out to me is that they were conversing...like normal human beings. Call me wacky, I don't know, but I just think it's really cool when two little people have a conversation. I mean, obviously Ryan and I have conversations all the time about everything under the sun, but his speaking skills are still, well, like a 2-year-old's. Many times other adults (even Brett and I, sometimes) can't understand him, but another child can and I think it's amazing.

Ok, well enough of my ramblings. I've been accused of making people cry to often while reading my blog. So, hopefully you didn't this time. :) Save the tears for another day.

And just for giggles, check out America's next macho man, Ryan Michael, in all his glory.... he was growling by the way. I had the camera square on him, then he bent over, threw his arms back, gave his best bad-boy face and growled. I wish I had caught the rest of his body. The moment was priceless.

The Jodster

Today is the day I get to see my best friend. Her name is Jody. I haven't seen her since January. Her, her equally wonderful husband, Jeff, and her absolutely amazing parents, Tony & Linda are coming down from Maryland to NC to meet us at the beach until Sunday. I am absolutely beside myself excited that my family and her family get to share this time together. Hopefully, this will be the first of many joint-family vacations that we will take.

You see, Jody is pregnant too. The Bean, as he is affectionately and namelessly known, is due 6 weeks and 5 days after Liam. Yes, HE! Jody and I are having SONS.... TOGETHER! We couldn't have planned it better.

Rewind to fall semester 2002 at Methodist...if you would have told either of us that within the next 8 years we would get over ourselves and love each other like sisters, we both probably would have punched you and laughed. We weren't exactly each other's "favs", if you know what I mean... all because of men who are thankfully no longer in our lives. Now, ignoring the geographic location of Virginia, we are inseparable. Crazy how God works, isn't it?

Our friendship is relatively new (we met in August of 2001), however, it seems as if I've known her my whole life. My hope for our children is that they will grow up together (again... let's forget about Virginia for a minute) and love each other as extended family. And of course, when Jody and I are old and gray, we can sit for the 30th summer in a row, on the deck of the house we've rented together at the beach, watch our grandchildren play in the sand while our husbands challenge each other on the golf course, drink our respected drinks of choice and reminisce about the "good ole days."

Let the music play on

My Papa Earl spent a lot of time downloading music and creating CDs. I think his song collection has got to be in the 10,000 plus range, and at least 100 CDs made, that now sit on the shelf above the computer in my Mimi's computer room. I never knew of any other man of his generation that was so tech savvy. He would spend hours on that computer finding different versions of hymns, Elvis Prestley songs to play for Mimi, Korean music, and many others. I can't tell you how many versions of Amazing Grace are downloaded on that computer. My favorites are one played on bagpipes and one that is just the piano.
Anyway, I gave him a list of songs I wanted made into a CD for me to play for Ryan while he was in my belly. Earl didn't like my contemporary mix of a playlist, consisting of Mariah Carey, Dave Matthews, Van Morrison and some others from all decades, especially the theme song from Beverly Hills Cop (Axel F by Harold Faltermeyer). My Deddy and I used to dance to Axel F when I was little. We even danced to it during the Father/Daughter dance at my wedding. After he downloaded all the music and made the CD, Papa said, "What kind of music is this? You're going to ruin that child!"
I was cleaning out closets on Monday and I found a CD that Papa had made for "Peanut #2" when he made the mix CD for Ryan. He gave me both CDs at the same time. I asked him why he was making one for a child that wasn't even thought of yet and his response was, "Because I won't be around and the child needs to know what good music is!" I brushed his comment aside. Death of those so close to me is not something that I particularly want to talk or think about, even though we all know that it is inevitable. Plus, Papa talked about "when he's gone..." all the time. So it really wasn't anything new to me. The CD that he made for the child now known as Liam (or Lil Earl to some of you) is a mix of children's Bible songs. Papa may not be here physically to hold and play with Liam, but his legacy lives on through a little boy who he will never meet. He will teach him what "good music" is.
Later on, closer to Ryan's birth, I asked Papa for a CD of just piano music so that Ryan would have something during nap time and bedtime to fall asleep to and also to drown out the rest of the noise in the house. This time, I gave no request list. Papa had full and total say as to what went on the CD. 2 years and 7 months later, Ryan still goes to sleep to the tune of Floyd Kramer.

It's amazing what a 2 year old takes in. Tonight, I was craving pancakes and I didn't want to cook them, so we went to IHOP. On the way there, 2 things stuck out to me. For starters, we took Brett's car. We rarely take Brett's car anywhere, just because it's small. He has a jetta. But Ryan likes to ride in "Daddy's race car" and I learned tonight that he loves to have Brett rev up the engine. He kept saying, "Daddy, make noise! Make noise!" I see a car fanatic in our future!

The second thing on our trip that made me stop and think was the fact that he so seriously told us that the sunshine was pretty. He was referring to the sunset that was occurring behind the storm that just came through. I was amazed and very pleased that he had noticed such a thing.

Here are a few pictures from the last few days...


Tonight he decided to use his bath paint and paint a beautiful mural on his bathtub. Could you be looking at the next Picasso?

Two binks too many!

Saturday night we went to Durham and celebrated my Uncle Rod's birthday. Ryan LOVES (that's probably an understatement) to sing happy birthday and blow out candles. We actually did this twice.

Ryan enjoying the pool on Saturday afternoon at Jackson & Kailyn's birthday party in Wilson. Nevermind that the car floaty he insists on getting in is entirely too small, but who cares right?

And finally, Mr. Liam and me. I'm 30 weeks today and really beginning to feel the effects of the heat and the extra weight my back in carrying around. Other than that, I'm doing well! Thankfully I passed my 3-hour glucose test last Thursday, so I'm good to go!

Resisting Growing Up

Let me set the scene for you: This morning Ryan got up and staggered in to the den rubbing his eyes with bink (pacifier) in hand. I made his waffle for him, poured his orange juice and sat him down at his little table in the den so he could watch Little Bill while he ate and I got ready. Prior to turning on the tv he has to have his clothes on, otherwise he'll never put them on. This is the conversation he and I had while putting on his clothes.

Me: "Ryan, when can we get rid of your bink?"
Ryan: "No"
Me: "Binks are for baby boys. Don't you think we should give your bink to the babies?"
Ryan: "No! I. AM. NOT. A. BIG. BOY!"


Hmmm.... a little resistance ya think?

My best friend, Jody, had her "plug", as her mother called it, until she went to kindergarten. (Sorry Jod! Had to call you out on this one!) Other than the obvious, she has no ill side effects. (hahaha, just kidding!) Maybe I'll just let him keep his bink until he just grows out of it himself. I certainly wouldn't want him to feel as if I made him grow up too soon.