39 weeks

From the outside looking in, 39 weeks pregnant may seem like a joyous time in a young pregnant mother's life. The nursery is ready, she's received wonderful, cute and cuddly gifts, she's got the pregnancy glow and she's just absolutely beautiful... how could she be negative during a time like this? She's getting ready to give birth to a brand new life! It's a glorious occasion!

...now, let's move on to reality...you mothers, pregnant or not, can more than likely relate to at least one of the following reasons why from 39 weeks on, a pregnant mother is truly miserable.

1. I cringe each time someone asks me how I'm feeling. I'm 7 days from my due date. I'm 33lbs heavier than I am usually. I'm tired, I'm sore, I have a 6-8lb mass of human being pressing down very firmly on my lady region. How the hell do you think I'm feeling?

2. Don't give me the evil eye when I choose the handicap stall in the restroom. Have you ever tried to get into and successfully close the door of a regular sized public bathroom stall while carrying a watermelon? No? Well, you should try it and let me know how that goes for you.

3. I have an unbalanced mixture of estrogen, testosterone, progesterone, oxytocin, relaxin, connexins and prostaglandins swimming through my body. It shouldn't come as a surprise that I'm hormonal.

4. My legs are hairy because bending over to shave them requires that I hold my breath.

5. My toes look quite sad... see the reason in #4.

6. My husband has to tie my shoes... see the reason in #'s 4 & 5.

7. The following phrases shouldn't be used when addressing a pregnant woman. "Wow, you're about to pop!" "Umm, you're getting bigger by the day!" "Don't eat that, it's not good for the baby." There are a ton more, but I've chosen to forget them.

8. Rolling over in bed is just comical at this point.

9. Sneezing is my enemy. My bladder strength and capacity is equal to that of a 90-year-old woman.

10. The advice from others... enough said.

11. Clothes, even the maternity ones, aren't comfy. My husband's basketball shorts, boxers and cut-off t-shirts are. I don't wear them to look like a slob, I wear them so you don't have to look at me naked.

12. The invasion of personal space. My personal space is defined as everything within a 1 foot perimeter around my body. If you want access to my personal space to touch my protruding abdominal area, you need to ask first.

13. And finally, don't make remarks such as "You haven't had that baby yet?" or "Why are you still here?" Those are stupid questions that absolutely will result in an answer that will make you feel stupid and make me look like a hormonal witch.

**Disclaimer: let me end by expressing my sincere thanks to God for blessing me with 2 healthy pregnancies and the ability to carry my children to full term. I know there are women out there who don't get to do that. I know how blessed I am.

Now, for an update. :) I had my 39 week appointment today. I am up to 159lbs, which is 33lbs gained. I am still 3cm dilated and 25% effaced (no change from last week). My bp was good, urine looked good and the nurse got 'mad' at me because I have no stretch marks. :) Haha! My doctor stripped my membranes as well. I'll save you the details of what all is involved with stripping membranes... utilize Google for a fantastic definition. But for a short explanation, the procedure *may* help get my labor started. If it is going to work, it will most likely work within the next 48 hours. So far, other than some dull lower back pain, I have felt no change since she did it.

I've been told to do all sorts of things... and I've even had someone try to scare me into labor. Sorry folks, Liam is half Dippolito and half Radford. I can assure you he is quite stubborn. It's in his blood! He'll come when he's ready. Until then though, I'll have fun eating chili, bouncing on my ball, walking, cleaning, eating pineapple and all the other old wives tales. It gives me something to do!