The ugly side of pregnancy...

So among all the ooo's and ahh's, the congratulations, the tummy rubs (although sometimes not so pleasant), the cute clothes, and all the other excitement about a new baby, there is the ugly side. The not-so-glorious, not-so-cute parts that no one warns you about. Those parts that you experienced during your first pregnancy, but are exacerbated during your second because your running around after a 2 year old.....drum roll please........ The moodiness, the raging hormones, the tears, the back pain, the headaches... I think the list could continue for 100 or so more words.

But seriously, let's be real for a minute. I know there are countless women out there who would give their right arm to have a healthy pregnancy and I know I should be grateful for every blessing God gives me, most importantly every day I get to spend with my family and children, born and unborn. But, I've got to confess, I don't like being pregnant. I don't like it because I don't like who, or rather what, I turn into when my hormones and quick temper take over me, especially with Ryan.

Yesterday after church, a simple task of changing clothes turned into a battle and crying fest between me and my precious son. How could I yell at him? All he wanted to do was sit for 30 minutes on the potty and pee. Who am I to tell him he can't do that? Who am I to yell at him and absolutely lose it to the point I had to remove myself from the room?

I vow to try very hard to keep my hormones and emotions in check for the remainder of this pregnancy as well as afterwards. That is not the kind of mother I am and it is not the kind of mother I wish to be. The look of care and concern on the face of my son while watching me sob like a baby is not something I will soon forget.

He's only 2.